Summary:
An unexpected encounter with an familiar face; an uncle and nephew finally have the chance to talk again.
(or: what if your 3000 year old uncle returned tot he living as a little yamask and you had to comfort him a little bit cuz he's so tender hearted!)
TWs: Discussion of death and vague suicidical ideation.
Song for this fic: Masakatsu Takagi - Marginalia #41
That day, while nestled within the trees of Lumiose’s graveyard, AZ caught a glimpse of something familiar.
Floette, smiling as she stood beside a tall young man. His long, messy brown hair and the way he awkwardly slouched always reminded AZ of himself when he was young. And in his arms, he held a bouquet of white flowers. Together, they entered and walked down the narrow path that led to AZ’s grave.
The sight of them together sent chills through AZ’s body. Floette, who he had once sacrificed everything for. The youth who he had taken under his care, and had begun to love like family.
He nearly called out to them. I’ve missed you. I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly. But the words remained caught in his throat and choked him.
He watched the young man place his flowers at his grave. He watched as he kneeled before the headstone, and bowed his head downwards as Floette settled herself in his lap.
“I wish…” the words were quiet, but AZ could still just barely make them out. “I wish I had gotten a chance to talk to you one more time. That I had a chance to understand you better...”
An ugly cry escaped from AZ’s mouth. When the startled pair turned towards his direction, AZ fled.
Panic had rendered him blind.
When he regained an awareness of his surroundings, he found himself to be far from the tall buildings of Lumiose City, soaring aimlessly through the heavens above.
He cursed himself— how dare I run away again? How dare I run away from the people I wish to see? But he did not turn back.
He continued onwards until fatigue spread through every part of his body. His arms tingling, his breathing hard, he descended from his position in the sky and returned to the Earth below.
A cold breeze, the sound of rushing water. The scent of coal lingered faintly in the air. If he squinted, he could make out the shape of long-empty mine carts in the distance.
In the far horizon, he could see Anistar City’s famed sundial. For the people of Anistar, it was the icon of the city. For AZ, another reminder of his greatest sin. There was land here, once, in the place where the city stood suspended above the waves. The might of his weapon had reduced it to nothingness, and the ocean became a mass grave for many of Kalos’ warriors.
This must be Route 18. The narrow valley… to think I would travel this far. When he settled upon the bridge, he half-expected it to creak beneath his weight; despite his frailty, his immense height made him heavy. The bridge instead remained silent, unburdened by his new, weightless form.
There was a figure across the bridge. Standing alone, gazing out at the sundial just as he was.
Curiosity urged him to inch closer. Buried beneath a furred hood, he saw a face he knew well.
White hair streaked with red. A beard that crested his face like the mane of a lion.
He felt himself tremble. He saw for a moment the glint of cold metal, the shed feather of a talonflame decorating an elaborate suit of armor.
This is wrong. He swore he could feel the weight of a crown upon his head, a ring of bronze wrung around his neck. This is wrong. I am here. I am in the present. I am not king. I am not…
Living for so long caused time to overlap and layer upon itself; if he was not careful, he would become lost between eras. He repeated these words to himself, over and over again, until he managed to convince himself that they were an undeniable truth.
When he had soothed himself enough, he looked again and saw L.
The last time they spoke, L had informed him that he would soon leave the region. And yet, here he was. He was dressed in the same frayed rags AZ had last seen him in, his once fine clothing distressed beyond recognition.
AZ tilted his head. He wondered, Will I be recognized in this form?
Would it be better if he did not know me? If I were simply a strange and unfamiliar ghost?
Despite his reservations, L did not fill him with the same sickly anxiety he had experienced just moments earlier, now that he recognized him properly. AZ began his approach.
It took some time for L to notice him; he was quite attached to the sundial. Just as AZ began to think that it may be better to leave him alone in the end, L’s shoulders jolted.
It was strange and terrible. He had denied himself so many things. He was terrified of allowing himself to truly feel, knowing what his emotions were capable of. How pathetic it was, that he could think of his own wants only after he died.
“That presence…” AZ heard him whisper to himself, “That intense, unmistakable presence… it can’t be…”
L looked around himself with wild eyes. When he caught sight of AZ, his expression softened. His footsteps caused the bridge to sway as he came closer to observe the creature that now stood before him.
“How strange,” he said. “Yamask are a rarity within Kalos. I wonder if you are… ah.”
His gaze met with the bronze mask that sat upon AZ’s tail. He faltered, choking back a gasp as he stared, unblinking. He lifted an arm slightly and his trembling hand hovered above AZ's head before he retracted the gesture.
“... You've returned.” The words were simple, but they carried an undeniable weight.
AZ nodded.
“You are….” L’s grey eyes flickered with an unreadable emotion. “Incomprehensible.”
He rubbed his forehead, his brows furrowed. Each time he tried to speak, he managed to make half a word before he stopped himself. He continued this for some time before eventually, he sighed, and his expression again became soft.
“Regardless…” He reached again towards AZ, this time planting a hand on his long nose. “Welcome back.”
AZ allowed himself to be pet, like any ordinary Pokemon would. When L finished, AZ allowed his small body to float upwards, until he reached the height of L’s shoulders.
During their final conversation, AZ had made L a cup of tea, and L lamented that he did not have anything to give in return. Now, L reached into his pack and pulled out a few small berries, which he offered to AZ.
“I feel as if it would take most ages to adjust to such a transformation,” L said, watching as AZ ate, “But you seem to have taken this in stride.”
“It… it is not so terrible,” AZ cleared his throat; He could still force his vocal chords to mimic the sound of human speech, but it took great effort. (He did not miss the brief look of surprise that flashed upon L’s face, before it returned to its typical stoicism). “I’ve always wished to have wings, so that I could fly alongside Floette. In one way or the other, that wish has been fulfilled.”
“I’ve been spending these long years honing my skills. Though, I was pretty good back then, too!” she laughed, “Do you remember when you were a child, and you stole away with my paints so you could try to dye your little brother’s hair? You said, Why is it so red? It’s weird!”
Once AZ finished his snack, he asked:
“The last time we spoke, you told me that you intended to travel. Why are you…?”
“I'm not quite sure,” L replied with a shrug, “I felt as if there was something calling out to me, asking me to return. As you can see, I obliged.”
He gestured towards the sundial. Even from this distance a faint pink glow could be seen radiating from its crystalline body, painting the dark sky with a magenta hue.
“When I gaze upon this massive structure, I feel the tug of a memory that wishes to return. The feeling of someone who was once close to me. I want to know who it is that dwells within my heart.”
He turned towards AZ, at first at first looking upwards. He paused, and frowned slightly before adjusting his eyes towards where AZ now floated besides him.
“You also must have had a reason to return. I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but…” L trailed off. AZ knew what he intended to ask, but there was no way to phrase it that did not sound insensitive: you wanted to die so badly. Why are you here?
“The people I love are here, in this world. I could not bear the idea that I would not see them again. And so, I returned. That is all.”
“Hah! I thought you would have a much more noble and magnanimous explanation. A desire to lead as you once did, or find a way to perform new miracles.”
“I have always been selfish. You know that.”
“Selfish? You misunderstand. I think it is admirable that you would love this world and its people so deeply that you would wish to rejoin it.”
It has always been love behind his actions. Love that tethered him to the world for 3000 years, love that burned so intensely it harmed all who came near, and once attempted to raze the world to the ground.
And yet he could not deny that it was also love that compelled him to return, and to try and try again.
“That is very kind of you to say, L. Very, very kind.” AZ chuckled softly. It was strange, talking peacefully together like this. There was no threat that loomed over them, no bars separating informing their dynamic. Now eager to speak, AZ continued on:
“There was something I meant to tell you during our previous conversation. At that time, I could not get the words out. Your face is so very similar to my young brother’s. Yet when we first encountered one another I saw within you an anger similar to my own. It frightened me, seeing that 3000 years later, some part of my family’s lineage remained unchanged. I mourned for you even as you still lived.”
“You don’t need to explain. You’ve always been someone extraordinary. The fact that you could live for 3000 years and claim it's still not enough is proof of that fact.”
The bridge finally creaked when L took a step backwards. In that moment a cloud passed over the gleaming moon, hiding his expression within the dark. The memory of his younger brother looming over him, sword drawn as he prepared to strike, formed in AZ’s mind. He felt that same sense of panic rising within him, and desperately tried to stamp it down.
“It always seemed so unbearably cruel. That I should be allowed to live, and to live for an eternity, despite the sheer amount of blood on my hands.” The words fell from AZ inelegantly. He tried to catch each sentence and force it back from whence it came, as he had so many times in the past. But he could not; each word, like sand, only slipped through his fingers. “So lost was I in that grief that I had forgotten living can be joyful. I only remembered that fact alongside Floette, and my dear Team MZ. By then, I was already…”
By then, I was already little more than a corpse. He thought of the many days he spent watching over the youth in his care. Their laughter, their bantering. He thought of the twinge of jealousy that grew in his chest as the time continued to pass. How he longed to join them-- to have fun again. But each and every time that desire grew into something so large that he was nearly compelled to act, he would stomp it into nothingness. How could I ever allow myself to believe I am worthy of such things?
He felt L’s hand again upon his face, wiping away tears he did not realize had begun to fall.
“I apologize,” he choked out, but L shook his head.
“You’ve been holding back tears for centuries now. I hope, going forward, you will allow yourself to cry more freely.”
L stood, adjusting his hood so it fell backwards, revealing more of his face. This time, he resembled not a horror from the past, but his usual, tired self.
Above them, the sky was slowly fading into the hazy colour of morning. The world awoke to the sound of birdsong. The sun was kind even to the abandoned mine, coating it in a gentle glow.
In Lumiose, AZ had no doubt that each member of Team MZ was beginning their morning routine. He would watch each of them come into the lobby, still dressed in pajamas, and ask him what he planned to prepare for breakfast. You should let me handle the cooking this time, AZ! I have this awesome new recipe I'm dyin to try out... it's sure to become a staple of the Hotel...
“Tell me, AZ," L's voice interrupted AZ's daydream, "Do you believe you can find joy, even as you are now?”
“I… yes.” AZ surprised himself with his own conviction. “This form suits me well, don’t you think? As a human, I was clumsy and foolish. Now, I am what I should have been all along.”
“You are still plenty human to me, but… yes, it suits you. I am honoured to know I have such presence in your memories, AZ. Though, I do wish the circumstances were more positive.”
“As do I. What will you do now?”
AZ nodded his head. Fluttering close to L so that their eyes met, he reached out a small hand. “If you find the beauty you seek… I hope that one day you will return here, and you will tell me all you have learned.”
“Of course. There would be no greater pleasure,” L replied, taking AZ’s hand in a firm shake. “Goodbye, AZ. Thank you for speaking with me once again.”
“Goodbye, L, I am happy we had this opportunity. And… I pray that you will be able to do what I could not, and find meaning in the eternal life you’ve been given.”
For a brief moment, the two remained side by side. It was strange that now, for the first time, AZ felt that they were truly equals to one another, even more so than when they were both human. But fate worked in wonderful, expected ways. Perhaps now, each of them would be able to make peace with the past.
L waved one final time before traveling down the bridge, and further into the long route.
AZ watched as he walked on, until, at last, he disappeared into the undarkening blue sky.